Daily Trailer: All The Super Bowl Trailers – Battleship, The Avengers, John Carter, The Hunger Games, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Act of Valor, The Dictator and The Lorax

Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday, the most exciting day of the year for fans of event film trailers of epic proportions. Apparently, it’s also a sporting event of some kind, but that’s not important for now. Today, we review every Super Bowl trailer from yesterday’s TV onslaught.

First up: Battleship

Battleship is desperate to prove it’s not Transformers’ little special-needs brother. But it is, and no matter how hard the producers try to dress it up as a sweeping sci-fi action epic, you just can’t overcome the stench around this film. Yes, Liam Neeson’s in it. Yes, Peter Berg is directing. And yes, Alexander Skarsgård is there also. But this trailer falls disappointingly flat, where even the dismantling of a landmark skyscraper and the supposedly ominous voice-over “We’re looking at an extinction-level event,” fail to make an impression on me. It’s just too obviously void of spirit, inventiveness and a necessary humor to pull a concept like this off. The hook that Rihanna and the quarterback from Friday Night Lights are mankind’s last hope ruffles my tail-feathers in all the wrong ways.
Grade: 3/10

Next in line: John Carter

The John Carter Super Bowl spot starts off with an interesting ploy, gradually revealing a plethora of images inside the title itself, implying a grand adventure, before heading off into more conventional Super Bowl Spot territory, providing a mass of big set pieces in rapid succession. The Coliseum-type fight promises to be a real treat, and we get a taste of the inevitable climactic battle, but what Disney will have to worry about the most is not the visuals, but how well the film will be able to conceal its obviously stilted dialogue, apparent in every trailer thus far. And is that John in blue paint? Helloooo, Avatar jokes.
Grade: 7/10

One for the family: The Lorax

That orange little peanutty-looking furball at the center of The Lorax is already a front-runner for the funniest character of the year. “The creators of Despicable Me” obviously know what they’re doing with one of Dr. Seuss’ weirdest stories, and they know how they want to present it. “Fun,” “Wacky” and “Irreverent” are probably near the top of their keyword lists. The animation looks gorgeous, the collection of animals and creatures introduced looks both fun and irreverent (I know) and Danny DeVito‘s delivery of “That’s a womaaan?!” gets me giggling every single time I watch it.
Grade: 7.5/10

The Showstopping Avengers

Oh dear. What to say? I… see now… you know what? Let Sverrir just describe it for you. This isn’t one of the most anticipated films of 2012 for nothing.
Grade: 9.5/10

Not bad for a follow-up: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

From Dwayne Johnson’s opening line, “In the immortal words… of Jay Z,” you know that G.I. Joe 2 is not going to take itself too seriously. Cue a short, sweet and to the point trailer, highlighting action, explosions and, yes, Bruce Willis. It’s going to be just as dumb as Battleship. Just a whole lot more fun.
Grade: 7/10

Out of left field: Act of Valor

Had you heard of Act of Valor? Me neither. But there it was, in the midst of blockbuster territory. This is clearly aimed at being an inspirational war drama, but its proclamation of featuring “active Navy SEALs” can’t hide the fact that Act of Valor is a step below other Super Bowl trailers in scope and production values. And when you don’t have any time to reveal the plot in a short TV spot like this, the whole thing falls short.
Grade: 4.5/10

Cruel comedy: The Dictator

You either love Sacha Baron Cohen, or you hate him. You have made up your mind and nothing will change it. He’s crude, rude and some people don’t find him funny enough to justify it. Therefore, this trailer is what it is: Baron Cohen’s newest alter-ego on full display. You’ll either laugh, or you won’t. Except at the Kardashian joke. It’s hilarious.
Grade: 7/10

And last, but certainly not least: The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games trailer is the only one that manages to combine spectacle with story exposition, where we are both treated to new visuals and fresh plot points (as well as Stanley Tucci’s lollypop-blue hair), and as a result it only increased my anticipation for this film.  It’s the runner-up of the night, and easily so.
Grade: 8.5/10

What’s your favorite Super Bowl spot, and why? Tell us in the comments.

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